What made you curious about the BDSM Lifestyle?
I have always been interested in the sexuality of all creatures. I found sadism when I lived in UK. As a child I had my siblings and friends always doing my bidding and giving me things. Power is something I crave from people. To be responsible for their pleasure is a gift. I learned young what men and women desired not only from me, but from life and themselves. I have spent years mastering my skill set. People and how they think and Marc de Sade is what made me curious about kink.
Once you discovered Fetish/BDSM groups of people who practice/live it, what were the steps you took in becoming a ProDomme?
I started Pro Domming simply because that is who I am. People want something from me and I from them. On my end it is always money and control of their mind and the relationship, I typically am attracted to submissive personality even in vanilla life. For them it’s sex it’s always sex. As I dove further into the sex work life style I honed in on my Dominance and my experiences and skills in kink just fell hand in hand with Financially Dominating every relationship I encountered. It just made sense for me to do it on a more public and global scale. So I started advertising on Facebook, and here we are 3 years later.
Has becoming a ProDomme confirmed everything you thought about yourself as being a different type of woman rather than the “traditional” woman?I
have always been in charge, it is my way or no way. I have always known I was More fearless and strong minded then most. It has cost me a lot of vanilla relationships.
Was there ever a time where someone thought maybe it wasn’t a good idea to be involved with BDSM or even in the business aspect to make money from it? How did you handle their suggestions (if any)?
My family didn’t know what I did until 3 Years ago, when a photo set I posted blew up on Facebook. They are super supportive. As far as anyone else who thinks they have a say in what i do in my life, well they can suck my dick.
What was the one specialty you were excited to learn and excel?
I am actually learning all about graphics and film production and running a busy in this industry. My long term goal is to produce Fetish films. I am excited to learn all new things. Kink is ever growing, there is never a time when I am not learning something.
Which one became your favorite?
My favorite skill set is mind fucking. I really enjoy knowing that when a sub is with me or watching my clips that they are transported to another world. Much more like how movies make you feel, with a Femdom twist.
How important is it to attend and events and/or workshops?I feel like at the moment for me it is really important to attend events and network. I am very new to the larger side of this all and still establishing myself in the film industry, and Public sex work. I think networking is a huge need if you plan on moving forward.
Is it important for you to keep up with education methods as well as safety methods to ensure you and your subs are safe at all times.
I am a huge advocate for education and safety, especially in the Femdom side of things. Kink can be very dangerous if it is not done properly. We hold the well being of our clients in our hands. 1 mistake can damage someone, or worse end their life. Do not session if you Do not know what you are doing. There is no shame in education, and if someone shames you for wanting to be safe. They should be your last choice as a mentor.
Did you ever find your strict rules bring forth those who truly understand your needs and keep the timewasters at bay?
Ahh that phrase “Time Waster” Frankly no one can waste your time if you do not let them. There are way too many ways to tell if someone is serious about booking or just calling for a free wank. It goes back to education. I suppose if you keep things basic. I tend to be one whom will talk vanilla for a time, but as soon as kink is brought up. Then it is time to pay. That is when the job part comes in, I am not going to charge someone to say hi or ask a few questions. Talking about your wants, needs, and fetishes on the other hand, well better just have you trigger finger on my tribute button.
You mention in a tweet recently, you turned down money because subs are getting confused thinking their power over you is money. Are subs getting confused on what BDSM means as a whole?
Yes I have turned down money on many many occasions. You see that is were clients get confused. Your money is not power. Anyone can give me money, I can go to the Casino for 10 minutes and have guys give me money just for saying hi. Your money is worthless if there is no meaning behind it. This is my job yes but it was always my lifestyle first. You can shove your wallet up your ass for all I care. If it was about the money for me I would have quit ages ago. I love this life and your cash will never control my passion.
Who is your “ideal” sub?
My idea sub would be someone who is honest, open, and exploratory. They as a sub know what they want. They allow me to form their needs into healthy habits. I do not want someone who wants to be destroyed that is not Dominance. They must understand that. This is a commitment. Clients are different, they usually just want this and that and then go back to the vanilla life after, this type of sub is okay as well.
Why is it important for a sub to disclose any personal health issues?Health is a major factor in this lifestyle. If we are in the middle of a scene and you have a heart attack and i had no idea you have health issues, I won’t be able to let whoever know what is going on. I won’t know what is going on. If you have some kind of medical issue full disclosure is important. There are many examples I can probably write a book and the different reasons it is important to be honest. The biggest being consent. You can not give consent if you are not in the right state of mind. That is a major issue. So we must know everything.
Running Your Business
Real Time Domme or Online Domme, or both? Which one do you find more lucrative and more fulfilling?
I am both real time and online. I love real time over online for the simple fact that I can touch my clients, and slaves. Me personally i need to feel my toys in my hand and touching my pets. It is the best part. Online gives me a similar high but not as much. I love either but prefer in person.Is anonymity important for your sub especially when many clips sites has become a viable business to promote your product and brand?Some of them yes.
We all know that many Dommes have lives outside of what we see on social media, what are your thoughts about sharing your personal life or others exposing their own personal life (pictures of family members, etc.)? Is it better to keep your professional and family life separate?
I think anyone who wants to be part of my life can, as long as they are of age. I would never throw my family in the lime light without them wanting it. Other then that my entire life is BDSM. I think that it should be up to them not me.
Have you had to change any vetting system while the growth of the internet continues to evolve so that you don’t run into any issues with fake subs trying to not pay for their time? (It’s okay if you do not choose to detail your vetting system).
My vetting system is pretty strict, online and in real time I have become very good and spotting fakes. They typically all have the same dumb lines, it’s almost like they have a book on how to be an idiot when booking a Domme. It is pretty easy to spot them honestly.
Was there ever a time you had to turn someone down from serving you? What suggestions did you give in order for a sub to improve?I have turned many subs down. I have cut subs off after years of serving me also. I do not tolerate rule breaking. I have a 3 strikes your out system. I will try to help them change the behavior if it keeps happening they are gone. I am not one to spend time on people who do not want to grow. I won’t waste it.
Do you prefer a few regular, loyal subs? Semi-regulars?I prefer long term of course. Randoms are always welcome!
What sets you apart from other Dommes?I am me and they are them. No one will be me. No one can do what I do. It’s that simple.
What is something you learned or discovered that you wish someone would have told you before you entered the profession and/or lifestyle or maybe run your business a little different?I wish I would have gone public a long time ago. That is the only thing. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to enter the clip industry.
I would have gone to school for business and graphic design instead of nursing.
Social Media and Community
What have been misconceptions of BDSM other than 50 Shades? What’s the BIGGEST misconception you find to be a reoccurring theme?That it is easy. This is not easy. Not the BDSM world. Not the porn world. It is all so much hard work, tears, and sacrifice. We spend hours a day practicing, filming, performing, learning. So many people get into it think it is easy money. We work twice as hard as people with a 9-5 and take 100% more shit and criticism. This world can break you if you are not careful.
How does the ‘mind-fuck’ element plays a key role in Femdom? Why is it important?How does any one use your mental state to get what they want? They give you ( or make you thin) what you want. In order to know your sub you must know everything that makes them tick. You have to be able to break someone down to the very fabric of their being and use it to your advantage. Knowing the weaknesses and the strengths of someone will grant you everything you desire.
How significant are the aspects of mentoring and the relationship you have with mentors and/or mentees?I think mentoring is a great thing. It is the best way to learn. The bond is strong normally and friendship is built. It takes a lot of trust and commitment.
What do you think of the ‘instadomme’ phenomena? Are these young ladies looking to make a quick buck or perhaps finding their place and following suit from inexperienced ladies.
I think there is a big debate on that term in general. Do i think some are here for a quick buck, absolutely, Do I think some are here to really learn 100%. You can not judge until you see who they are. You can tell a lot about someone from what they do or do not post. Then again it’s the internet so who knows what is real.
How can a slave distinguish the difference a Domme who understands the level of the lifestyle and someone who is just asking for money?
It is pretty easy to tell who has no idea what they are doing and who does. For new subs I suggest researching everything before ever sending anything. Most Professional Dommes have fan sites, clip sites, and websites. Twitter and social media is not a great verification, because you aren’t I.D. verified. Anyone can steal hot pictures.
How have EXXXOTICA, DomCon and other shows have helped your business?
I have been to Domcon and Exxotica, and so far it has given me a ton of experience and some new friends and skills. Networking is a huge part of all of this. Know who to follow and learn from that is important.
There are those who use their social media platforms to express opinions about BDSM which are not highly regarded as constructive criticism and can be quite hateful, (i.e. kink shaming). Is it a good idea to express hateful opinions, or express yourself in a general term or say nothing at all?
I think everyone is entitled to their feelings and opinions. I also believe in the block button. It’s the internet, people suck that’s part of life. Frankly most people who have time to be hateful are pathetic and have self esteem issues themselves. If you do not let it bother you it’s so much easier.
Domme bashing yea or nay?
Domme bashing…………..Bashing anyone to gain clout if wrong and a waste of time. You seriously took time out of your day just to hurt someone else feelings for what? You did nothing but lose money and make yourself look like a dick. It’s ridiculous.
Why is it important for yourself and as a community to support the lifestyle and stand with other Dommes?
Supporting each other will help the vanilla world take us seriously. No one is gunna take you serious when you are always calling other girls bitches and hoes. Grow up we are adults trying to make it in the world. Imagine what would happen if we just supported each other.
How important is it in developing a strong social media presence in order to promote your business accordingly?
I think that as you build your brand and are consistent, and network. The social media following just goes with that. In any business you have to be social to be known. No one sees the fly on the wall, just the elephant in the room.
FOSTA/SESTA has been quite the thorn in affecting how we all run our businesses. Have you been affected? What steps have you taken to ensure the integrity of your business?
SESTA/FOSTA has taken a lot of advertising places away, we will recover as an industry, they can not silence all of us.
All About You
Do you keep a personal blog (not for public consumption) of your sessions just to gauge on the day and the feelings/subspace the took place during the sessions with your sub?
I keep a mental vlog and text vlog for the most part. I do sometimes write down sessions and erotica stories based on them. I then turn them into clips.
Have you ever thought perhaps a session could have done differently?Oh yes I have thought many session could have gone differently. Each one is a learning experience. Each client is different. That is how we grow as Dommes.
What are some of the lessons you have learned so far in life, professionally or personally? Did these lessons come with difficulty and make you who you are today?
I have had a long rough life and it sucked at times, was hard at times, and there were and are many tears. Life is not supposed to be easy. Having everything handed to you teaches you nothing. Struggle makes you human and builds you. It is the best part of life, the lessons.
What memories of the best time of your life always keep you grounded?
My struggles are what keeps me grounded. I never want to forget the path I had to forge to get to the top, I am still on that path.
What are some of ‘must do’ your rituals before beginning your day?I have to drink my morning tea and listen to music to get started. I am a big music person, it is my everything and some of my routine are based on music. I am currently working on flogging routines.
If you left the BDSM life tomorrow, what would you want your slaves and your peers to remember most about what you taught them?
To always be yourself.
Advice to new ladies coming on board and discovering their FemDom side?Educate yourself. Find a Mentor, just because you have been a Domme for x amount of time does not mean you have the first clue to how to run it as a business, there are different rules to this game. You must learn them or you will fail.
And now your social media and websites:
Domme Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX8_QfApTf2k41KqNI1CrTw
Makeup Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCspTCpxhRRQQVQGCUkjC0SA